Advice for couples trying to conceive

Advice for couples trying to conceive

Question

We have been married for several years and have been trying to conceive. Besides the normal Qurʾānic duʿās for conception, what other actions could we do? Psychologically, it is becoming really difficult for us as people who have married after us have children. How can this be averted?

بسم الله الرحمن الرحیم

Answer

May Almighty Allah reward you for your endeavours and intentions and bless you with pious children. We hope the following points will be beneficial for you:

Firstly, the intention and desire to have children is very noble as it increases the Ummah of our beloved Prophet ﷺ. For this intention and all the efforts you undertake, you will be rewarded In Shāʾ Allah.

Secondly, Almighty Allah mentions in the Qurʾān (42: 49) that he grants whomsoever he wishes boys or girls or both, and sometimes He decides according to His wisdom not to grant children. This is a decision of Almighty Allah and whilst we should make every effort to have children, ultimately we should be pleased and content with whatever Allah has decreed for us. As such, the efforts will not be in vain. There will be immense reward and blessing in this world and the hereafter. Many great personalities and pious people did not have children despite trying. This is not a sign of lack of piety or acceptance in the eyes of Allah. It is therefore important not to feel despondent and always be grateful to Almighty Allah.

Thirdly, do not lose hope and keep on trying. There are many couples who have been granted children after many years of their marriage. For this, we recommend that you regularly read the supplications mentioned below that are also outlined on this link.

رَبَّنَا آتِنَا فِىْ الدُّنْيَا حَسَنَةً وَفِىْ الآخِرَةِ حَسَنَةً وَّقِنَا عَذَابَ النَّارِ

Our Lord, Grant us good in this world and good in the hereafter, and save us from the punishment of the fire (Qurʾān, 2: 201).

رَبَّنَا هَبْ لَنَا مِنْ أَزْوَاجِنَا وَذُرِّيَّاتِنَا قُرَّةَ أَعْيُنٍ وَاجْعَلْنَا لِلْمُتَّقِينَ إِمَامًا

Our Lord, Bestow on us the coolness of the eyes from our wives and our offspring, and make us leaders for the righteous (Qurʾān, 25: 74).

رَبِّ هَبْ لِي مِنَ الصَّالِحِينَ

My Lord, Grant me a righteous child (Qurʾān, 37: 100).

رَبِّ اجْعَلْنِيْ مُقِيْمَ الصَّلاَةِ وَمِنْ ذُرِّيَّتِيْ رَبَّنَا وَتَقَبَّلْ دُعَاءِ

My Lord, Render me as well as my progeny as establishers of Ṣalāh and accept my supplication (Qurʾān, 14: 40).

رَبَّنَا وَاجْعَلْنَا مُسْلِمَيْنِ لَكَ وَمِن ذُرِّيَّتِنَا أُمَّةً مُّسْلِمَةً لَّكَ وَأَرِنَا مَنَاسِكَنَا وَتُبْ عَلَيْنَا إِنَّكَ أَنتَ التَّوَّابُ الرَّحِيمُ

Our Lord, Make us submitters to You, and from our offspring let there be a nation of submitters to You. Show us our ways of worship, and relent towards us. You are the Relenting, the Merciful (Qurʾān, 2: 128).

رَبِّ هَبْ لِيْ مِنْ لَدُنْكَ ذُرِّيَّةً طَيِّبَةً إِنَّكَ سَمِيعُ الدُّعَاءِ

My Lord, Grant me from You good offspring. You are the Hearer of the prayers (Qurʾān, 3: 38).

رَبِّ لَا تَذَرْنِيْ فَرْدًا وَأَنتَ خَيْرُ الْوَارِثِينَ

My Lord, Do not keep me without an heir, though You are the best inheritor (Qurʾān, 21: 89).

اللّهُـمَّ لا سَهْلَ إِلاّ ما جَعَلـتَهُ سَهْلاً وَأَنْتَ تَجْعَلُ الْحَزَنَ إِذا شِئْتَ سَهْلاً

O Allah, there is no ease except in that which you have made easy and you make the difficult, if You wish, easy.[1]

يَا حَيُّ يَا قَيُّوْمُ بِرَحْمَتِكَ أَسْتَغِيْثُ

O Living, O Self-Sustaining Sustainer, in Your mercy, I seek relief.[2]

Duʿāʾ is a very effective tool and it is through this Prophet Zakariyyā (peace be upon him) was granted a child despite his wife being barren. In addition to this, perform Ṣalāt al-Ḥājah (two Rakʿah Nafl prayer at the time of need) regularly and supplicate to Almighty Allah and also give charity regularly.

Fourthly, it is also worth consulting a traditional doctor as well as a Ḥakīm (doctor of herbal medicine) as this may benefit you. Please consult local scholars and identify appropriate and qualified doctors of herbal medicine.

May Almighty Allah grant you pious children and make them a means of guidance and the coolness of your eyes.

Allah knows best

Yusuf Shabbir, Blackburn, UK

1 Rajab 1437 / 9 April 2016

www.nawadir.org

Footnotes

[1] Ṣaḥīḥ Ibn Ḥibbān (974); ʿAmal al-Yawm Wa al-Laylah (351).

[2] Sunan al-Tirmidhī (3524); al-Mustadrak (1875); ʿAmal Yawm Wa al-Laylah (337); Shuʿab al-Īmān (9751). Also see: Musnad al-Bazzār (6368); al-Sunan al-Kubrā Li al-Nasāʾī (10330); ʿAmal al-Yawm Wa al-Laylah Li al-Nasāʾī (569).